Celestial God of Illogicality's Accidental Wife

Penelope Vance is an assistant billing coordinator for the municipal drainage board, not an almighty entity.Her entire existence is built on ninety-degree angles, parallel pencils, and an unyielding commitment to municipal standard deviation. She understands culverts, depreciation tables, and property taxes. She does not understand why an accordion-folded celestial invoice just extruded itself from inside her toasted English muffin.Enter Under-Chancellor Marmaduke: a seven-inch bureaucrat dressed in static electricity who has taken up residence behind her smoked paprika to inform her that she is ninety days past due on twelve million credits of cosmic balance.Through an ancient Mesopotamian clerical error, Penelope has been legally assigned as the Ananke-Sovereign-the divine cosmic underwriter-to one Julian Dax.Julian is a freelance vibe consultant, a walking thermodynamic felony, and an apex agent of raw ontological unreason. When he has a reckless impulse, the laws of physics buckle; when Penelope loses her temper, gravity in the room drops by six percent.Worse yet, the universe has zero tolerance for bad accounts. With seven-foot marble repo-bailiffs hunting them through diners, the local storm drains threatening armed secession, and a single kiss threatening to permanently rewrite the source code of reality, Penelope has until sunset to audit Julian's chaotic soul into compliance.If she fails, the celestial bailiffs won't just repossess her left femur-they'll erase her pension, liquidate her mind, and tear down the only man reckless enough to make her ordinary life feel infinite.