Walden, or Life in the Woods With Fu*king Monsters

Die screaming.Christmas Eve, 1846. Henry David Thoreau has spent eighteen months at Walden Pond perfecting the art of simple living, and he has never once scrubbed his floorboards without feeling superior to the rest of mankind.Then a carriage of English guests arrives for dinner, the horses start screaming, and something under the ice wakes up hungry.By midnight the floor has burst open, the roof has been peeled off like a tin lid, and the most insufferable man in Massachusetts is beating nightmares to death with a bucket, a coach whip, and an axe. His fellow survivors are a dying English lord with a murderous wit, a mysterious young man who knows far too much, and a foul-mouthed coachman who has never once been thanked for his work. They run from Lovecraftian horrors through the frozen woods, the wreck of a runaway locomotive, a siege in an ice house, and a boulder that decides to split. Meanwhile the pond keeps rising, and something very old and very patient is waiting at the shore.Gory, profane, and savagely funny, Walden, or Life in the Woods With Fu*king Monsters is a Lovecraftian splatterpunk survival novel with a gallows grin and a body count.Not everyone makes it to morning. Nobody makes it out clean.